Nail Biting

My God! I must quit biting my nails! When I was pregnant with Harper, and even before that I had decent nails. They were never those beautiful long nails, but they at least looked better than they do now. I have got to get a handle on it. 

I read up up on chronic nail biting. Many of those articles claimed that nail biting was a symptom of three things: boredom, anxiety, or stress. Then the articles give tips on how to combat each one of those. But what if my trigger all three of those? ugh. Why can't I just have beautiful nails without even trying? Why can't everything just be like, BAM! changed!? Man! Life is so much work!

Here are something that I plan on doing to help me grow these nails:
1. exercise! When I had good nails several years ago, I was an avid gym goer. I've got to get back!
2. Chew gum when I'm feeling like I want to bite my nails.
3. buy nail files and nail strengthener
4. eat better and take vitamins

Resolutions or a reset?

I literally cannot believe myself. I am probably the happiest and saddest I have ever been in my life since my last post. I don't know how I can be the happiest and the saddest, but it's true. Here's a timeline of the past few years:

2014- Get engaged, Get preggers, get married.

2015- Have baby (Harper), gain all of my weight back.

2016- Live in a blur, Happy because Harper is amazing.

2017- live in a blur, Still happy because Harper is still pretty amazing.

2018- Life is still a blur, but Harper is a great reminder that I am still worthy of so many things.

2019- Wake up and realize that I must get back to me: back to happiness and back to health.

My niece Mallory and I in November of 2018

To be honest:

• I haven't been a very good wife
• I haven't been a very good mother
• I haven't been a very good daughter
• I haven't been a very good sister
• I haven't been a very good friend
• I haven't been a very good teacher
• I haven't been very good to myself. 

All I can do now is hit a reset button and start again.

 What will living in the past do for me?

too long, too much weight

It has been way too long since I have last updated this blog. So much has happened. I am engaged and have a short 155 days until the wedding, I bought a house, and bought a dog. I have also gained close to 70 pounds. As I sit here I am full of anxiety. I can't believe that all of my hard work  over the past three years is null and void now. I am so upset and disappointed with myself that I just can't deal with it. But today, June 20th is my baptism. A new promise to myself to get back to where I was. I don't think I can lose all of the weight in the next 155 days, but I can try. I have 63 days until the next school year begins. 63 days where I can commit to 2 or more hours of working out at the gym. That starts today.

Advocare- I am currently on the AdvoCare 24 Day Challenge. I am on day 5 of 24. I am feeling great and motivated. I hate to be gross, but I am poopin' like a man and love it. I feel really cleansed.

I will write more lter, but right now I jut want to get ready and get to the gym so I can get this anxiety gone!

Unexpected Evening

What a great day today has turned into! I love my friends! 

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When I woke up this morning I had all these intentions of running right away.... then I saw all the rain. Boo! I had to wait several hours before I could actually get outside. When I finally did it wasn't until after 2 pm. I had to run 2 miles. It was pretty windy out and still wet. I have been having issues with my knee for a few days and finally broke down and bought a runner's knee brace thingy. It does help so much! I think I might get one for the other knee this week. It's funny how as I get older more and more affliction occur. I hate it. Why does my body have to fail me???? 

Anyway, I ran a pretty easy course at a park near my house. I did an out an back. About 1.5 miles and I turned around and ran that back. It was very hilly, but that's good. I need to get in shape! I have an 8k in 7 weeks! SEVEN WEEKS! 

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I also had the opportunity to go to dinner with some of my work girlies. I almost said no. See, I have been trapped in this semi-depressive state for a few weeks. I haven't really wanted to go anywhere or see anyone. I think almost all of us get like this every once in awhile. For me it comes and goes. But lately it's been hanging around a little more than it used to. I think I am a little lonely. I have taken a break from dating. Since breaking up with Dave 18 months ago, I have dated like a crazy lady. There has been very few weeks that I haven't had a date. I mean, I broke up with Mike on a Friday and had another date by Wednesday. I was starting to turn into one of those women that cannot be without a man. After the past few guys I have gone on dates with have not worked out at all, I have decided to do some soul searching. The thing is, that soul searching was taking place on my couch face up staring at the ceiling, or watching tv. MINDLESSLY! I have so much to do, but I have just dome nothing. I've really got to get out of my head and off my ass! ANyway, I just need to get my ass to the gym and get these last 35 pounds off. I don't think that losing these last 30+ pounds will be the answer, but I feel like it will get me closer to where I want my life to be. 

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So this afternoon, before my run, Michelle texted  me and asked me to dinner and to hang out after with the girls. Like I explained above, I almost didn't go, but man alive am  glad that I did. 

We had dinner and a few drinks at Applebees. I used to hate that place, but it's growing on me. The food is yummier than ever! I ordered the Chicken portabella something or other and it was delicious! I would definitely order that again. AND it was only 550 calories. So good! I also drank two glasses of wine. I hardly ever drink any more, so I was feeling pretty good! After dinner, we headed back to Michelle's place and made some Valentine treats for our co-workers and just hung out. It was low key and fabulous!

I hope that we will all get to do it again soon.

What do you think of my new blog design? I like it. It took me several hours to get it down pact, but I like it!

Anyway,

Off to bed!

=)

Starting again....

Starting Again!?!

I know my peeps, I know. I'm at it again. I started my running schedule for the Shamrock Shuffle this afternoon! I have eight weeks to get this ass into Shuffle shape! I cannot wait. I ran outside for the first time in  months today and it felt great. I have been running a little on the treadmill at the gym and have a small case of runner's knee I think. It's pretty sore. Hopefully everything will be ok with it. Below is my schedule for the next eight weeks. I am going to have to invest in a reflector vest I think. I will be getting home pretty late many evenings. 

Run the 8-K

WEEK	MON	TUE	WED	THU	FRI	SAT	SUN	MILES
1	Stretch & strength	2 m run	30 min cross	2 m run + strength	Rest	30 min cross	2 m run	6
2	Stretch & strength	2 m run	30 min cross	2 m run + strength	Rest	30 min cross	2.5 m run	6.5
3	Stretch & strength	2.5 m run	35 min cross	2 m run + strength	Rest	40 min cross	3 m run	7.5
4	Stretch & strength	2.5 m run	35 min cross	2 m run + strength	Rest	40 min cross	3.5 m run	8
5	Stretch & strength	2.5 m run	40 min cross	2 m run + strength	Rest	50 min cross	4 m run	8.5
6	Stretch & strength	3 m run	40 min cross	2 m run + strength	Rest	50 min cross	4 m run	9
7	Stretch & strength	3 m run	45 min cross	2 m run + strength	Rest	60 min cross	4.5 m run	9.5
8	Stretch & strength	3 m run	30 min cross	2 m run	Rest	Rest or 60 min cross	Rest	8-K  Race

I have some other big news. I have decided that renting is for the birds. I have not yet bought a house in for several reasons. First, I have not so great credit; second, I don't have much saved; and third, I didn't want to buy a house and then meet a guy who also owned a house. I no longer care. I am wasting so much money a year on rent. All my money is going into the pockets of my landlord. So... here I go on the whole getting my credit and money situation back to normal. I hoping by this summer or next fall I will have most of this ready to go! I spend some of my free time driving around looking at neighborhoods. It's pretty exciting. I am not trying to get my hopes up, but I plan on working hard to get my finances back in order.

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Judy is just as crazy as ever. She drives me bonkers, but she cracks me up more than ever!

She gets into everything. EVERYTHING I TELL YOU!

=)

Water Aerobics... whew!

Tonight was the first night of the District sponsored water aerobics. A few weeks ago, when the email was sent out offering a free water aerobics class I was like Hells Yeah I'm in! A few years back, when I was living in Bolingbrook with the ex, I started taking water aerobics. It was about all I could do with my hurt back. My instructor was AMAZING! It was a step class and uber difficult. It really helped me start my weight loss journey. I remember when I had to order a new swimsuit after the first session (about 8 weeks). Everyone made a big deal about it. People, that suit was a size 22! I was celebrating fitting into a size 22 suit! OMG! I just ordered a new suit in a size 16! Woo-hoo! Now, here's to hoping it fits when it gets here. I wore a size 16 before gaining 15  17 pounds since October. Yup 17 big ones. Nothing of mine fits right. NOTHING! I'm tugging at everything! This is why I am getting back on the horse. I cannot let myself EVER get back to where I was. It was too much work to get here!

The water aerobics class wasn't very hard at all. When it was all done I was kind of disappointed. I really wanted it to me harder.  I remember my last one being so hard, but then this evening when I was showering it hit me: the last time I took a class like this I was almost 100 pounds heavier. IT WOULD HAVE BEEN HARDER! Nonetheless, I came home to put on some gym clothes and became really tired. It wasn't my muscles, it was just me. I forgot just how tiring physically being in the water is. Then I smelled the delicious aroma that enveloped my house and that was that, I was in for the evening. I made chicken gumbo in the crockpot.... YUM! So good! I will eat it for lunch for the rest of the week! I also decided that NO matter what my brain tells me, I have to get up and run in the morning. I was supposed to begin my Shamrock Shuffle training today and didn't, so tomorrow morning it will begin!

Right now I can hear Judy munching away on her dinner. I bought her new food. When I went to the store yesterday I couldn't recall what kind I bought last time so I just said eeny-meeny----wala! When I opened the bag a lil bit ago, no bueno, not the same food. Oh well.

I also have been noticing that Judy has matted knots on her chest fur. This makes me feel like a bad owner because she doesn't get brushed. I do try and brush her, but Judy is a maniac and won't allow it! INstead I had to cut the knots out. So, this crazy cat lets me cut the knots out, but not get near her with a brush. Go figure I would own a weird weird cat!

Here she is after licking up some of the cut off fur. Her tongue is even sticking out!

Have a great Wednesday all!

=)

Oatmeal. Yummy.

I haven't blogged all since Tuesday. I need to get better at this, make time Amanda, just do it!

I did get an excellent work out in yesterday. I was sweaty sweaty! I also made a decision about taking another spinning class. I won't be! I know I said I wouldn't let it defeat me, but after really sitting down and thinking long and hard about it, I just cannot do spin class and start running. My back just can't take it. Since I have already signed up for the Shamrock Shuffle on April 7th, I have decided to spend my time outside of the gym running. I will do an every other day type training routine. It will start after water aerobics on Tuesday.

Eating this week was FABULOUS thanks to  Hungry Girl to the Max. Inside this book are endless yummy recipes. I haven't been disappointed yet!

I din't take a picture of any of the dinners I cooked this week, but I did take a picture of the breakfast! I think it because I was not a breakfast person for so long! I'm still not, not really anyway. I do however, feel the difference in energy when I don't eat a hearty, healthy breakfast. The oatmeal recipes from Hungry Girl to the Max take a long time to make, but HOT DAMN, they are worth it! I'm going to have to get up a few minutes early just to make it, but I am actually excited to eat OATMEAL!

Here's the recipe for Banana Split Oatmeal
285 calories

Ingredients:
1/2 c old fashion oats
dash salt
1 cup unsweetened almond breeze
1 tbls sugar free strawberry jam preserves
1/2 banana 2 tbls fat free reddi wip
1 tsp semi sweet choc chips

Directions:
Combine oats and salt in nonstick pot. Add Almond Breeze and 1 c water.

Bring to a boil and then reduce to a simmer. Cook and stir until thick and creamy, 12-15 minutes.

Transfer to a medium bowl and let cool slightly to thicken. Stir in preserves. Top with bananas, reddi whip, and chocolate chips.

Enjoy!

It is so much better than it even looks!

When I first read the recipe, I was like WTF is Almond breeze? Well my friends, it's almond milk. I get mine in the health food section of the Kroger here in town. It was a little pricey. The book says you can substitute it with Vanilla Soymilk, but you will have to add calories for it. I personally added another tablespoon of jam because that's the kind of gal I am!

* Side note. Judy also loves oatmeal. She won't leave me alone when I eat this! It must smell delicious! 
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This is what I'm cooking this week!

***All recipes are courtesy of  Hungry Girl to the Max

Last year, about this time, is when I began running. I was inspired when I began reading a blog I found on Pintrest called "Runs for Cookies" The bloggers name is Katie. I have to tell you all that she is so inspirational. She has lost and kept off over 120 pounds. She was recently on the Today show after running a Ragnar Relay in Flordia. I am looking forward to seeing the documentary that she is taking part in. take a look at her blog if you are in need of some weight loss inspiration! Here's a link to Runs for Cookies. 

Have a good week everyone!

=)